Besides the dating/relationship issue, the ingrown clique issue is also a major concern in any young adult ministry. Over time the love and unity of the whole group diminishes. We gradually become less concerned with reaching out or welcoming new-comers, and more concerned with socializing with our elected group of friends that we're already comfortable with. We have our own inside jokes, encoded gestures, and sometimes our own language. We become ingrown and don't want to bother ourselves with loving those outside of our tight fellowship circle. Sure, we might politely greet someone new and say, "Hi, I'm so and so, nice to meet you," but how easily do we invite them into our established friendship circles? Beyond being polite at a Church event, how often do you really try to invite others outside of your comfort group to fellowship with you at non-church activities?
Sometimes cliques develop very subtly as everyone naturally gravitates towards those they have things in common with. They become "comfort" cliques in which there is no evil motive for the division, simply a desire to stay comfortable. In these cliques the members aren't really focused on loving others or dying to themselves. They don't want to go through the uncomfortableness of having to acclimate someone else into their group or extending hospitality to a stranger. So they continue on saying, "I just want to have fun with my friends that I trust and am comfortable with."
Other cliques can become slightly more unloving in that they begin to alienate or judge others unlike them. They become "cool" cliques in which the cohesiveness derives from how attractive or trendy the members are. People in cool cliques are noticeably more hospitable and friendly towards others that look attractive or dress nice. They might not speak evil of unattractive or un-trendy people, but they still alienate them by their demeanor and level of friendliness. Those in "not-so-cool" cliques are just as guilty as they begin to meanly judge the "cool" clique. They talk amongst themselves of the vanity and shallowness of those belonging to the "cool" clique. Yet, both are just as wrong.
May we fight against this and endeavor to be warm and loving to all, and enjoy the unity in Christ.
"My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the lord of glory, with partiality...If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself,' you do well." (James 2:1, 8)
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How often we forget as the body of Christ to be in unity, though we have our clicks are there also attempts by those in leadership to also restrain from this and emphasize this to others. Also, how do we as believers within this group take it within our own hearts without taking offense as they approach us. i pray that we as young adults truly walk worthy of our calling as Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:1-3, thank you for the blog and the insights, i pray that we also, starting within in my own heart, ask the LORD to give us eyes that see like Him, and hearts that are of Him, that we may reach out, it is like that Casting Crowns song, "But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way.."
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